MAMMOGRAM
Many women are afraid of their first
mammogram, but there is no need to worry.
By taking a few minutes each day
for a week preceding the exam
and doing the following exercises, you will be
totally prepared for the test and best
of all, you can do these simple
exercises right in and around your home.
EXERCISE ONE:
Open your refrigerator door and
insert one breast in door.
Shut the door as hard as
possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds.
Repeat again in case the first time
wasn't effective enough.
EXERCISE TWO:
Visit your garage at
3 AM when the temperature
of the cement floor is just perfect.
Take off all your
clothes and lie comfortably on
the floor with one breast wedged
under the rear tire of the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back
the car up until your breast is
sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Turn over and repeat with the other breast.
EXERCISE THREE:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist.
Invite a stranger into the room.
Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.
Set up an appointment with the
stranger to meet next year and do it again.
YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!AND,
just a thought for all the women out there........
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps,
MENtal breakdown,
MENopause............
Ever notice how all of women's
problems start with men?.........
AndWhen we have real
trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!
To all women who needs to have a laugh
AND, don't forget to have a mammogram!!!!!!
